“Has God told you that you can eat the fruit from all the trees?” the voice asked softly. Eve turned around to see a snake talking to her.
“God has told us we can eat all the fruit except for what grows on The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil,” Eve told the serpent.
“Oh come now, that’s silly! I hardly think such a lovely fruit would do you any harm,” the serpent lied. “God knows that if you eat from The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil you’ll become just like God, and will be able to decide for yourself what is right and what is wrong.”
The woman looked at the fruit and thought how tasty it looked. She thought how wonderful it would be to be as wise and powerful as God. She believed the serpent’s lie and ate the fruit.
She felt a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. She fidgeted and wondered what was wrong with her. Suddenly she realized that she was feeling guilty — she had disobeyed God and knew she’d done something wrong.
Eve hurriedly picked some more fruit and took it back to Adam. They ate the fruit and sat in gloomy silence. As soon as they ate the fruit a change came over Adam and Eve. They became unhappy and fearful of God.
Adam and Eve heard God calling them. Without thinking, they dived into the bushes, but God knew where they were. When God asked them if they had eaten from The Tree of the
Knowledge of Good and Evil that He had told them not to touch, they blamed each other for their sins.
The woman is still as much a mystery to men as it was back when these famous scriptures were written. The woman is loved, adored, blamed, hated, admired and misunderstood everyday. It amuses me to hear the same question over and over again “How do you keep a woman happy?” I have noticed reasonably intelligent men go blank when faced with this question.
I am not offering the much awaited answer to any of you. But I can try telling you a few things that guys do right. A few gestures that touch a womans heart and makes her a happy person. Here I go:
Don’t try to solve her problems. She doesn’t need you to tell her what is right and what is wrong. She is smart enough to decide that for herself unless she did ask you to make the decision. What she needs is someone to be able to talk to! She needs to know that you care enough to sit through a whole session of her woes. What matters to her is not how aptly you got rid of her trouble but how patiently you listened to all that she had to say.
Say what you mean. Try your best not to bluff your girl. Most women are good at reading body language. They tend to easily detect a lie. Even if she doesn’t let you know at the time… this little lie will act as the first seed of doubt in your relationship which can grow into something huge and ugly with time. Best is to create an atmosphere of openness with her so that it is easier for her to accept things that you would otherwise hide from her. Keeps your relationship a lot less uncomplicated.
Don’t make your fights a slanging match. Its very easy to lose your temper during an argument and get down to name calling. Words spoken at that moment can never be recalled and nor will they be forgotten by your girl, even though it may get rid of your pent up anger and frustrations momentarily. Thus its advisable to be careful not to say anything that might hurt her ’cause those are words she will bring up every time she wants to earn a brownie point against you. Instead, sit it out. Talk only once you know she is done yelling. Say whatever you have to say slow but stern. Make sure you give her space to understand.
Encourage her. You are a lucky guy if your girl likes to dress up for you. If she is not one to dress up everyday, then know that she is taking a lot of pain just to make you proud. The least that you can do – give her a few words of encouragement. Thats all she wants. Even if you fail to realize that she has a new haircut, make sure you react as soon you are told. If you fail this one, the first thing that comes to her mind is that she is not appreciated and is being taken for granted. That’s one feeling no one likes.
Help her with chores. Theres nothing better than taking the load off her to make her feel she is appreciated. Be it helping her with her assignments or helping her make her presentations. Instead of leaving her to do the cooking, dishes and making the bed take it off her hands at times. Don’t get her off and leave it just as it is ’cause that would just increase the burden. Don’t try to do it all by yourself either. Just do it once in a while to show her you care and that you know it is hard work. But do it yourself… don’t wait for her to come begging to you.
Be careful how you treat her. Make sure you don’t fail to introduce her to your family and friends as your girl friend / fiancee / wife. Also be careful that you treat her the same in front of your people like you do when you are alone with her. Don’t confuse her by being two different people. You might not feel the difference but she does. Make sure you include her in conversations and explain what she doesn’t understand or know about. You need to be especially caring to all her needs here ’cause it is your domain and she is the outsider. Don’t alienate her.
Don’t let your work come in between. Work is extremely important, but so is your relationship. Learn to balance the two. Don’t let her think your work is taking the place of the ‘other woman’ in your life. Talk to her about your work. Make her feel involved so she understands what you do and can appreciate it. Don’t make it the main conversation but encourage her to share her views. You will be surprised at some of the new ideas that you get. While you do that also remember that there should be a time when work-talk is taboo. Give yourselves space for conversations and recreation. Travel together. Go out in groups or just the two of you. Enjoy a meal together in the middle of the day or relax with a movie and a drink. These little Us-times can do wonders to a relationship.
Share your hobbies. Its very rare for a couple to share similar interests. You might be crazy about cricket while she totally detests it. She might just love to watch those mushy classics that makes you snore away to glory. Make deals. Manage to choose a movie that is a lot less mushy and one that both of you will like and watch it together and throw a match watching party where you invite all the guys and their partners. This way the women will entertain themselves while you guys are left to watch the match. Or you can try to coax her to don the war paint with you and your friends and hit the grounds for the sheer fun of screaming… she may like it after all. If nothing works, try not to let the match or movie come in between and do it simultaneously in two different rooms.
Don’t flirt with other women. If you don’t want trouble avoid this one. She may not be the one to mind like she tells you, or she may be the silent types. But the fight that you had a couple of nights later or the food that tasted like rubber clearly indicates that she DID mind then. No woman likes competition and moreover for their own man. If you take the other side and make her feel unwanted … you shall pay for the consequences.
Surprise her. What do I tell you about this one? Every one likes little surprises. Be it in the form of diamonds or handpicked flowers. Be it a huge party or a little candle-light dinner for two. Don’t think about the cost … just be innovative. If you have dollars to spare nothing better than that. If not, don’t worry ’cause like they say ‘its the feeling that matters’. If your girl really loves you she will be floored just by the gesture. Drag her to the terrace for a rain-dance session in the first rain, surprise her by returning for home early and doing what she loves to do for the rest of the evening, send her cards for no reason at all, leave her little notes… and millions of other things.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. Few of the things that can make your girl happy and in turn make you happy. Try it. You just might figure out where you were going wrong!