‘Thumb rule: The key to a successful relationship is communication.’ No wonder then, that a good debate keeps a relationship on its toes.

I just came across an interesting website where a relationship of 16yrs has been dissected. Its hilarious. But I am not sure the author or his partner would agree to my viewpoint. We more or less all behave the same way in a relationship. We never know where we go wrong and its almost always a communication error. I have seen arguments of various kinds ranging from insignificant matters to huge ones. A few examples.

• Leaving the bathroom door open
• Forgetting to close the doors when the AC is on
• Who switches-off the lights while going to bed
• Who does the washing and who gets it
• How to make milkshake/cake/chicken soup (Come on people!)
• Shower not cleaned after bath
• Shampoo/soap/toothpaste brands
• Proper ladle to be used while cooking
• How to operate the microwave
• Wrong chocolate deliberately bought
• Take the bus or call a cab
• Too much time spent on the internet
• Romantic movie or action flick
• ‘Friends’ or ‘Smallville’

The list could go on for ever. I believe this is an eternal problem thats too difficult to be taken up by any world organization. I am sure the best brains would fail here ’cause no one knows the whims or fancies of a human mind.

That brings me to how women say something and men understand something else. Almost always a woman complains her partner doesn’t listen to her and the man complains they never understand what she really wants. Another communication error. A few things you hear your girl say don’t follow the conventional dictionary meaning. This is how it goes:

1. Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they believe they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. It could also mean an hour if she is doing something more important. Didn’t you say Five Minutes and take half an hour while watching the game or surfing the net? Don’t complain now.

3. Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine.

4. Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5. Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but since it is a non-verbal statement it is often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh could mean she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you about Nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of Nothing.)

6. That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks : A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint. Just say you’re welcome and stop right there.

8. Whatever : This is a woman’s way of saying F*** YOU!

9. Don’t worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, “What’s wrong?”, for the woman’s response refer to # 3.