“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” – Frank Zappa

Drinking was a sport solely dominated by men. Frank Sinatra said at one time “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” Down the years men have taken his saying to heart. But so did women.

History has documented some bold women venturing into the male dominated world and curving their niche. They matched their men step for step in every field. Why then would they be left behind in drinking? Some say ‘Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.’ Women too raise their glasses to escape the illusion. The trouble starts when it gets difficult to count the glasses. The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.

Here are some of the instances one may come across when the fairer sex gets drunk.

1. Hitting the dance floor after a couple of drinks makes one realize what an inconvenience shoes can be. The beloved accessories turn into evil contraptions that won’t even allow them to walk straight, let alone dance.
2. Every song is followed by an excited shriek of “I love this number”. All happy-time memories of the first kiss or the last dance of the long lost days come flooding and somehow all the songs become ‘my best song’.
3. All other dance forms dwindle leaving in their place the only step that seems sexy and happening to the alcohol ridden mind – The hip-wriggling and arm-flailing-overhead step. Agreed that the pull of gravity seems heightened and staying upright becomes an ordeal.
4. Those labeled geeks and freaks suddenly develop new characteristics which seem attractive to the heightened spirits.
5. The all important ‘purse’ loses its meaning. More than half the time one doesn’t seem to care even if they are treading on it in their fervor to dance and scream .
6. All of a sudden a lot of hidden rage and hatred rear their heads. ‘Kicking some ass’ right then for justice becomes the current motto of life. Though five minutes later one tends to wonder why they wanted to kick the poor souls ass.
7. As the number of glasses increase so does ones suspicion that the waiter has been serving more of cola and lime and hardly any rum or vodka. Ignorant they are of the taste buds that have gone numb and can no more taste the alcohol.
8. Everyone becomes someone life would be difficult without. Hugging and expressing how much they love each other becomes one of the primary group activity.
9. The stranger in the bathroom mirror looks vaguely similar to oneself. The diva that arrived seems to have left quite a few drinks ago having left behind something the cat dragged in.
10. Once home, the bed seems pretty tough like the kitchen floor and the pillow kind of wet like the mop.