The time when I return from work everyday is the ideal time of the day for me. I wait eagerly to get home and have a cup of tea and hug my baby after the whole day. Be with my family and just relax after the whole tiresome day at work. Most days I have a raging headache or am too tired to want to cook anything for dinner. And I would rather be home with the love of my life – my little family, however imperfect.
The drive back home takes me around a short trip around a part of the city. The day just at its brink to dip into inky darkness. Sometimes I see the orange sun bidding farewell to the fresh moon, half the sky already in darkness and the other half holding on to the day that was. People hurrying home, shopping for food at the roadside stalls, trying to hail a cab, catch a bus and amidst them all a couple of youngsters so totally lost in themselves, oblivious to all the emotions and bustle around them.
The young couple in love transported me back to a time long ago when I would have identified with them. So much in love that all else seemed unimportant. I was full of ideals and dreams. My world was chalked in front of me. I had refused to believe the future could be anything apart from what I wanted. I thought that’s the most anyone can love.
Alas things went awry! Life changed. But not for too long. I was born to fight and survive. Resurfacing I again had the same dreams. They seemed very distant and almost impossible. Life went on but the dreams refused to fade away.
They say when you want something badly, the whole universe conspires to let you have it. It must be true ’cause beating all odds I am living the dream that I always dreamed. Thinking back the love back then seems so childish. Love has a new meaning now. It means waking up at 4 in morning everyday to feed my baby, feeding the dog at 7 in the morning even if its Saturday, cooking some difficult Bengali dishes even though all I really want to do is flop on the couch and watch tv. And cribbing and complaining and sometimes crying, knowing all the time I would do nothing different if given another option.
Today was a dream back then, but was there enough love back then to cope with today? I wonder. May be not. May be everything in life was necessary to let me know what a gift I have today. Oh the cribbing and crying is just part and parcel of it. Spices up things from time to time.