My baby has grown up so fast. It seems like just yesterday when I would sit gazing at the lazy afternoon traffic and wonder what it feels like to be a Mommy. Would I feel any different? What if my baby doesn’t like me? How will I know how to look after my baby? Will it hurt during delivery?…..
There was a lot to look forward to then. Baby, Degree, New home, Job, Visiting India…
It was difficult after a while to move around and lie down. Every position was uncomfortable. Every thought was either confusing or scary. Moods were at their swinging best. Fights had become a regular affair.
And then one day Aadi arrived. Just when we all planned a whole day of shopping and the movies and eating out to make me feel better Aadi decided to come out and be an active participant. He took us by surprise. We all went through a lot of sweating and crying for a couple of days thanks to my baby’s idea of surprise. No, we didn’t make it to shopping and day out program obviously ’cause everyone was at the hospital for the next 7 days.
Aadi felt like velvet when I kissed him for the first time in the OT and again 3 days later when they finally allowed me to hold him. My baby was so tiny and looked like no one I knew. I know his grannies kept claiming that he looked like me but I wondered how they knew, or were they just guessing and hoping it would come true?
I returned home alone, Aadi was still in hospital. For the next few days I visited him everyday at the hospital. On every visit I learned to feed, bathe and care for him. But once home, it was all a dream. Nothing had changed. It was still just us.
And then Aadi decided to come home. The matron handed me the tiny bundle after all the accumulated luggage was loaded in the car. I realized how real it all was.
I learned each movement, each action, each expression so much so that now I can say what he is about to do as soon as he starts looking around. Its been over 10 months now and soon my baby will be an year old. He is already attempting to walk very soon we ll be running after him keeping things out of his reach. Very soon he will be 10 years old and then 20. Yet everytime I see him all I can see is the little towel wrapped bundle blinking up at me for the first time.